Have you ever wondered why you say sorry so much, even when you don’t mean to? Well sadly, this is an epiphany known too well by many young Nigerians raised in beautiful but semi-dictatorial homes.
For many millennials, respect was enforced as a golden rule and “sorry” an indebted word to be used when prompted. While it’s often well-intended or an intentional contribution towards raising a decent person, it seeps into adulthood, affecting self esteems and relationship dynamics.
From apologizing for voicing an opinion to saying sorry for passing an item across with your left arm, your formative years deemed a lot of things disrespectful. It’s bad enough that society has produced a bunch of unequal conventional standards overtime, but it was definitely worse back then.
Factors like age, gender and economic status commanded a certain level of respect or diminished it. And spoiler alert, it still does! However, we live in a Gen Z age now and awareness is positively at an all time high. Making somebody uncomfortable is a risk worth taking, as long as freedom of speech exists.
Because if you think about it, why should you be sorry for wanting to stand up for yourself?
Although most of the micro-aggressions used by some Nigerian parents comes from their own of coming-of-age processes, it’s still questionable and redeemable. Consequently, as an adult, If you don’t rid yourself of the fear or trauma, chances are you’d get gaslighted by toxic people or situations.
We’re not saying parents should allow their kids be rude but they should be heard and their thought processes respected. Listen to them, let them have the audacity to use their voices and then provide alternative logical perspectives to correct or teach.
Remember, you’re raising an individual who you hopefully want to be better, not a carbon copy made in the shed.