If you’re a hyper-sensitive person, being a people-pleaser is something you probably struggle with. From not knowing how to stand firm in your convictions to not saying ‘No’ when you should, it can be overwhelming. Either way, it’s something that can be unlearnt.
In other words, being a people-pleaser is something you unconsciously become overtime. As such, it requires just as much of a lifespan to bring it to a halt. And in the same vein, a good amount of intentionality and self awareness.
So let’s uncover what it is to lay off it.
What does it mean to be a people-pleaser?
A people-pleaser is someone that often puts the needs of others before theirs. Simply put, it is doing whatever it takes to make others happy, at your inconvenience. As a result, people find themselves feeling emotionally exhausted and anxious most of the time.
From agreeing to things you don’t want to do or having low self esteem to always saying ‘Sorry’, people-pleasing sucks.
Whether you’re affected directly by it or you want to help someone out, we’ve got you covered.
Check out 5 ways to stop being a people-pleaser…
1. Establish Boundaries
People-pleasing is usually born out of not having limits. Basically, you need to know what your limits are and communicate them clearly. What are you willing to do? and what aren’t you willing to do? Be specific about this to necessary parties so you’re only accessible to who and what matters.
2. Set Goals & Priorities
Want to stop being a people-pleaser? Then consider what you want to spend your time doing. It starts by identifying the things that hold value with you that you’re willing to work for. When you do this, equally consider the time and energy that has to be devoted to it.
3. Positive Self-Talk
At any point, when you feel overwhelmed or tempted to cave in to a request, affirm yourself. How do you do this? Try reassuring yourself that you deserve to have time for yourself, and that your goals and needs are important. Above all, that your feelings are valid.
4. Assess Requests
As a people-pleaser, think of the things you’re asked to do carefully. What you want to do is look for signs of manipulation and ask yourself some questions. For example, “is my ability to help being taken advantage of?”. The answer plays a huge role in staying strong and standing up for yourself.
5. Remember Relationships Involve “Giving & Taking”
Finally, remind yourself that relationships demand reciprocity. Essentially, whoever you’re helping out should be able to do the same for you. In addition to this, understand that people should be willing to consider your feelings as much as you consider theirs.